![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
May. 18th, 2018 10:43 amDay three. I can't complain; as far as periods go, mine's very mild and easy to bear. The first day is the real trial, the second is a breeze, the third is a mix of the two. Right now I'm just fatigued. I'm forcing myself to keep moving and do the housekeeping but all I want is to crawl back into bed.
I've also been writing a lot, especially considering how much trouble I've had with it previously. It would seem my creative block was related to the underlying depression, and that getting a grip on that has turned the tap back on. Although it doesn't quite explain why I'm writing quite so much father-son Varian fic, but there you go. I am happy with the response to The Wolf Goes to Sea.
Mom's PSW tried to tell me what my dad's culture is about today. That was fun. I can't be "wrong" about this, lady. I don't care what some other family from another country does. There's also this thing where people casually insult me to my face. It's weird... This time it's "Arab women are bitches." Hello? Hi. I wonder if this is a biracial person thing. Sort of like I "don't count" so it's not an insult? I mean, it took me a long time to accept that ID because an 'Arab' to me is something I'm not, really. My ancestors were Hebrews and God only knows what else, and some Greeks for sure. Family oral history says exactly two Arab guys are in the mix and they came in during the Crusades. A relative did one of those genetic tests and it was a big smear across the whole Eastern Mediterranean. To my father and grandparents, they were "Arabs" because an "Arab" was someone who spoke Arabic. Mesopotamian-type Arabs do not consider me an Arab. I don't "look Arab" to them. But to other Palestinians, I have Jerusalem Face (seriously, if I look at photos of some of the admin in Ottoman Jerusalem, they look like they could be my cousins. It's kinda spooky). But I've become too tired of explaining all of this so I just go with it nowadays.
And it wouldn't help anyway- the last time someone did this, it was to tell me my dad's only an asshole because we're all related to Jews, so... People are ... yeah. Can do better.
I've also been writing a lot, especially considering how much trouble I've had with it previously. It would seem my creative block was related to the underlying depression, and that getting a grip on that has turned the tap back on. Although it doesn't quite explain why I'm writing quite so much father-son Varian fic, but there you go. I am happy with the response to The Wolf Goes to Sea.
Mom's PSW tried to tell me what my dad's culture is about today. That was fun. I can't be "wrong" about this, lady. I don't care what some other family from another country does. There's also this thing where people casually insult me to my face. It's weird... This time it's "Arab women are bitches." Hello? Hi. I wonder if this is a biracial person thing. Sort of like I "don't count" so it's not an insult? I mean, it took me a long time to accept that ID because an 'Arab' to me is something I'm not, really. My ancestors were Hebrews and God only knows what else, and some Greeks for sure. Family oral history says exactly two Arab guys are in the mix and they came in during the Crusades. A relative did one of those genetic tests and it was a big smear across the whole Eastern Mediterranean. To my father and grandparents, they were "Arabs" because an "Arab" was someone who spoke Arabic. Mesopotamian-type Arabs do not consider me an Arab. I don't "look Arab" to them. But to other Palestinians, I have Jerusalem Face (seriously, if I look at photos of some of the admin in Ottoman Jerusalem, they look like they could be my cousins. It's kinda spooky). But I've become too tired of explaining all of this so I just go with it nowadays.
And it wouldn't help anyway- the last time someone did this, it was to tell me my dad's only an asshole because we're all related to Jews, so... People are ... yeah. Can do better.
