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Sep. 23rd, 2018 03:29 pmI've been writing a lot and not enough, it seems. There's a beginning for my H/C bingo arc and a lot in my head but most of what's coming out atm is for RP over at FadeRift. I'm once again considering withdrawing from Darrow... When I came off hiatus with Anduin I told myself that I would 'see how it goes.' And, if anything, the situation seems to be getting worse. There are fewer and fewer characters he has connections with, and it seems unlikely that he'd forge new ones, for some reason. I'm really reluctant to just give up but ... it doesn't look good atm.
I'm still having a great time with FadeRift. I love to write for Connor. He's fascinating.. The playlist I made for him really gets me focused when I sit down to work on his scenes too. He comes through more clearly than Anduin atm, I think because they recently did some strange things with his character in canon like giving him prophetic bones... sort of? I call them his 'oracle bones.' The rules of how they work are very vague. Basically he gets struck down with agonizing pain if something is Wrong, probably in a moral sense? If he needs to act? I'm not entirely sure.
It's been a rough time on the family front. I don't usually talk about my sister but I've been interacting with her a bit more recently. She makes me feel pretty sad, actually, in a way that's hard to describe... She has internalized a lot of racism. It's painful to see... Basically, she's desperately trying to pass as White. It's really hard to unpack how that makes me feel... I worry about her. I want to help her- but I'm not sure how because the truth is painful, and I know her fears are justified. I also know what she is doing is unhealthy and futile. It feels like she's caught in a trap and, by its nature, I can't help her out of it; she has to get out herself. :/
Mom has been mostly stable but I need to watch out for stress. It causes her to get extremely nervous and obsessive. It's scary. Last time she started talking about taking herself off her medication. That's such a huge trigger for me now...
On the fandom front, I think I realized that I like genfic so much because I want Ace fic. I want shippy fic that's about non-sexual intimacy. Now that I've actually read such a story, it makes so much sense to me. I'm thinking of ways I can fill that need myself. Tagging it presents a challenge... Everything I've done so far that's close has a 'Other' tag which just doesn't seem right. Neither does leaning M/M or F/F or Het defending on gender. IDK. I'm not going to over think it ... much :P (Yes, I will).
That's all for now, friends!
I'm still having a great time with FadeRift. I love to write for Connor. He's fascinating.. The playlist I made for him really gets me focused when I sit down to work on his scenes too. He comes through more clearly than Anduin atm, I think because they recently did some strange things with his character in canon like giving him prophetic bones... sort of? I call them his 'oracle bones.' The rules of how they work are very vague. Basically he gets struck down with agonizing pain if something is Wrong, probably in a moral sense? If he needs to act? I'm not entirely sure.
It's been a rough time on the family front. I don't usually talk about my sister but I've been interacting with her a bit more recently. She makes me feel pretty sad, actually, in a way that's hard to describe... She has internalized a lot of racism. It's painful to see... Basically, she's desperately trying to pass as White. It's really hard to unpack how that makes me feel... I worry about her. I want to help her- but I'm not sure how because the truth is painful, and I know her fears are justified. I also know what she is doing is unhealthy and futile. It feels like she's caught in a trap and, by its nature, I can't help her out of it; she has to get out herself. :/
Mom has been mostly stable but I need to watch out for stress. It causes her to get extremely nervous and obsessive. It's scary. Last time she started talking about taking herself off her medication. That's such a huge trigger for me now...
On the fandom front, I think I realized that I like genfic so much because I want Ace fic. I want shippy fic that's about non-sexual intimacy. Now that I've actually read such a story, it makes so much sense to me. I'm thinking of ways I can fill that need myself. Tagging it presents a challenge... Everything I've done so far that's close has a 'Other' tag which just doesn't seem right. Neither does leaning M/M or F/F or Het defending on gender. IDK. I'm not going to over think it ... much :P (Yes, I will).
That's all for now, friends!
